Jul 16Things to Do When You’re InvisibleI have reached the age where I am invisible to most people. I recently roamed the Coney Island boardwalk, after struggling to wash up in a Maimonides Park restroom because my hands could not activate any of its motion-sensitive faucets, happily taking cell phone photos without anyone seeming to notice, or care. I felt like an NPC, a non-player character in a…Aging3 min readAging3 min read
Mar 25What’s the Best (or Worst) Cover Version of a Song?What’s the best (or worst) cover version you’ve heard of a favorite song? I’m “asking for a friend” because — somewhere in Bergenfield, NJ (I won’t say precisely where or when to protect the innocent) — I recently heard a performance of the worst cover version in the history of…Music2 min readMusic2 min read
Feb 19ChatGPT Gets Us: An AI Conversation With JesusI first saw one of the “He Gets Us” advertisements splayed across the right field fence at a Pittsburgh Pirates game in September. I thought it was silly. Fast forward to the Super Bowl (am I even allowed to call it that here?), …ChatGPT5 min readChatGPT5 min read
Feb 9There’s No ‘AI’ in ‘Poetry’Silly me. On a cold Saturday morning in New Jersey, I cuddled up with ChatGPT and asked the artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot a series of absurd requests, such as “write a three paragraph love letter to a penguin.” I was amused by the whimsical result, so I tweeted this screenshot…Poetry2 min readPoetry2 min read
Feb 4Ode to Gorilla MonsoonWe traveled through seven man-made holes in the mountains of Pennsylvania. Heading west, Dad squinted behind Saratoga Ray Bans: The last cold warrior, the Republican JFK. Dad was behind the wheel of our black Chevy Impala, his hands recklessly at 12 and 6. …Poem2 min readPoem2 min read
Feb 2ChatGPT Visits the Philadelphia Museum of ArtI asked the AI platform to write about my recent visit. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords. Here’s the result: The Philadelphia Museum of Art is a must-see destination for any art lover visiting the city. …Art3 min readArt3 min read
Nov 18, 2022The Last Waltz: Goodbye, Catholic New YorkCatholic New York newspaper published its last edition this week. I had met my wife, Nancy, working there in the 1980s. Its editor, my friend John Woods, published this informative article about the publication’s history: https://www.cny.org/stories/goodbye-cny,24614 In it, he mentions two editors I worked for at the start of my…Journalism3 min readJournalism3 min read
Nov 7, 2022Three Recent PoemsRecent original poetry, all about family memories, first posted on my blog — Bob Varettoni, 11/7/22. Elegy in a Living Room I lie alone in my boyhood home, on a faux-leather sofa, a curiosity from the 1970s my mother won’t surrender. The suburbs are Sunday-silent. I shut my eyes and begin to float… Up a…Poetry2 min readPoetry2 min read
Sep 10, 2022Visiting the Warhol Museum: Ambivalence and Awe in PittsburghNancy and I took a road trip to Pittsburgh, ostensibly to see the baseball Pirates host the New York Mets. On our way to an afternoon game, we crossed paths with the Andy Warhol Museum. I was excited to see the works of this New York City legend, not realizing…Art4 min readArt4 min read
Aug 26, 2022Braided Essay*: ‘Thunder Road’ in 6 ScenesAre You Scared? Are You Thinking That Maybe You Aren’t That Young Anymore? Scene 1: The disambiguation page on Wikipedia lists 21 possible references to “Thunder Road.” But as anyone knows who grew up in New Jersey in the decade of the ’70s, there’s really only one. It’s the song recorded by Bruce Springsteen in 1975. A song without a chorus. Scene 2…Springsteen4 min readSpringsteen4 min read
